Sidney Myer Music Bowl, 08/12/2013
While it's unlikely Sidney Myer would expect his bowl to host such a
torrid display of oversexed metal, he'd be chuffed to see just how at home
tonight's players made themselves. And they are exactly that; players.
Exploding onto the stage and into our bloodstream like the contents of the
Sunset Strip gutter crammed into a syringe and injected into our collective
arse (or, ass), Buckcherry take the
balmy dusk and make it pitch black. The hard workin’, hard lovin’ and harder
playin’ five-piece boast more tatts and leather than a series of LA Ink, and their inherently empty odes to partying and misogyny are made for times like these.
Opening with Lit Up, the
agenda is set and the relentless fury and love comes hard and fast from both
sides; the crowd bursting to life between songs, the band never taking their
foot off the accelerator. The title track from their 2010 album All Night Long follows and singer Josh
Todd's Axl-esque voice impales the band's bright hard rock deep into our ears. Epic
metal ballad Sorry goes out "to all
the sugar bitches", before they rip up the place up with Crazy Bitch and an expletive-laden cover of Icona Pop’s I Don't Care. As a vehicle for
showmanship, this show is a triumph, musically it's totally forgettable.
Steel Panther arrive following a live video feed from backstage showing the band
playing Strip Battleship with some busty friends, to a 6000-strong crowd ready
to party and a batch of staggeringly offensive metal songs to smack us with.
Drummer Stix Zadinia, bassist Lexxi Foxx, guitarist Satchel and singer Michael
Starr ("it’s as if Meat Loaf and Bret Michaels had a kid" says Satchel) enter
to a rapturous reception before letting us know exactly what’s on their minds and why they're here.
On a multilevel stage, beneath a giant
screen and between extended breaks of totally hilarious banter, the band never
give less than 100%. Full-throttle party metal songs about masturbation (Tomorrow Night), sex with hot girls (Eyes of a Panther), sex with ugly girls
(Turn Out the Lights), sex with
anyone (Glory Hole), interracial sex
(Asian Hooker), fellatio (It Won’t Suck Itself) an improvised song
about Satchel’s love of cunnilingus, and heartfelt ballads about anal sex (Weenie Ride), and non-exclusive
relationships (Community Property) tell
you all you need to know about Steel Panther.
While Foxx is staring into his on-stage dressing mirror and arranging his hair (which he often does), Satchel declares Melbourne "the greatest fucking city on earth. Why? Because the age of consent here is fucking 15! Whose fucking idea was that!?" Getting an even bigger cheer is the first use of their ‘Mötley Crüe Tittycam™’ that gets a workout documenting some of the many instances of boob-flashing and more intimate antics engaged in by the several dozen women who take to the stage during the encore.
While Foxx is staring into his on-stage dressing mirror and arranging his hair (which he often does), Satchel declares Melbourne "the greatest fucking city on earth. Why? Because the age of consent here is fucking 15! Whose fucking idea was that!?" Getting an even bigger cheer is the first use of their ‘Mötley Crüe Tittycam™’ that gets a workout documenting some of the many instances of boob-flashing and more intimate antics engaged in by the several dozen women who take to the stage during the encore.
A whole thesis could be written about what
Steel Panther represent and whether their ironic hedonism goes too far, and it would be a seriously excellent read, but that
would be missing the point. Closing with the self-explanatory anthems Party All Night, 17 Girls in a Row and Death to All But Metal amidst a fug of
pot smoke, their brand of panto-metal is technically impressive, hilarious and undeniably
awesome. As Starr shouts, metal salute aloft, whenever presented with a pair of bouncing breasts in
his mock-astonished face: “heavy metal rules!” Tonight, it totally fucking does.
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